Tzzss ouch! ๐Ÿ˜†
God either micromanages everything or wrings his hands over his inability? Those are the options? With weak disjuncts like that, I wouldn't use my real name on Twitter, e...
As I approach my destination and I hear the drivers phone: "adding new ride to lyft queue", it sounds just like "prepare to qualify" from Pole Position from the '80s.
always a good idea to google "is it safer to crash a plane in water or over land" while mid flight
always a good idea to google "is it safer to crash a plane in water or over land" while mid flight
I legit have a lot of work to do today and somehow I keep ending up on news sites. Impeachment takes forever, you have time to do your work and catch up later.
Pilot: "Flight attendants please take your jump seats" ~* 2 minutes of turbulence *~ Flight attendant: "Please don't take anything off the carts. Leave the carts in the aisle."
Pilot: "Flight attendants please take your jump seats"

~* 2 minutes of turbulence *~

Flight attendant: "Please don't take anything off the carts. Leave the carts in the aisle."
The buried lede in this @TheEconomist article is that providing direct cash welfare to the world's poorest folks, without rigorous restrictions, works - for them and the whole country: economist.com/international/โ€ฆ
$10 you actually just smacked him and made him cry on camera
A kid cries as he holds a goodbye note his classmates wrote in goodbye as he is kicked out of school in #NewYork by the #bigoted and ignorant #democratparty lawmakers bou...
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Name a song that you downloaded from LimeWire.
Greta: I, a child, shouldnโ€™t be the one taking the responsibility for this, the future of the entire planet Supporters: YASS! You got this!!! Greta: I donโ€™t want your hope. I want you to panic and act as if the house is on fire. Supporters: OMG so true! She gives me so much hope!
Does a database server REALLY need emacs installed on it? Nope, but I need it installed on that server. #emacsftw #screwvi
Shall we go, you and I while we can Through the transitive nightfall of diamonds? (quickthoughts.jgregorymcverry.com/s/1l1rSm)
Shall we go, you and I while we can
Through the transitive nightfall of diamonds?
On my way to Amsterdam for @indiewebcamp and @ViewSourceConf! This 8 hour flight seems like nothing in comparison to last week's 15 hours to Australia!
On my way to Amsterdam for @IndieWebCamp and @ViewSourceConf!

This 8 hour flight seems like nothing in comparison to last week's 15 hours to Australia!
Are you ready for #Hacktoberfest 2019? Support Open Source in October and earn a limited edition T-shirt! @DigitalOcean @ThePracticalDev hacktoberfest.digitalocean.com
There goes waiting to get home to show off a report card (or burn it)
A new Alexa education API will provide a connection between Alexa and popular edu apps, and parents can now ask how their kid did on the test, or if they handed in their ...
โ€œMany of you have written headlines about this over the past yearโ€ Amazonโ€™s Limp says, regarding privacy issues. Actually theyโ€™re full stories, not just headlines...
LMFAO it happens
The WiFi here isnโ€™t working well so far and the irony is Iโ€™m sitting next to @nsweaves and he canโ€™t fix it.