Hello Singleness, My Old Friend

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        "name": "Jared White",
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    "published": "2021-10-04T08:39:23-07:00",
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        "html": "<img alt=\"\" src=\"https://res.cloudinary.com/mariposta/image/upload/w_1200,c_limit,q_65/mthood_adoleh.jpg\" /><h2>I wasn\u2019t given a blueprint for this. I never expected to be Married-No-Longer. But now, after my divorce, I have to decide what comes next.</h2>\n\n<p>\u201cI climb to greet the war in which I have no heart but only<br />That one dark I owe my light,<br />Call for confessor and wiser mirror but there is none<br />To glow after the god stoning night<br />And I am struck as lonely as a holy marker by the sun\u201d</p>\n\n<p><em>Dylan Thomas</em></p>\n\n\n\n<p>Wow. Has it really been two years and change since <a href=\"https://jaredwhite.com/articles/oh-that-kind-of-new-year\">I wrote that my life had been turned upside down</a>? I confessed I had opened up a new \u201cprivate office and art studio\u201d near downtown Portland, and it actually sounded like a upbeat and glamorous development. In some ways, sure, it was\u2026yet if I also seemed cagey, it was due to the fact I couldn\u2019t let the real cat out of the bag.</p>\n\n<p><strong>My wife of nearly ten years and I had separated.</strong> Ouch. My new studio in Portland was\u2026my new home as well. It was a radical shift in my lifestyle, one I hadn\u2019t expected until right up to the point of it happening. (That, I suppose, is the nature of breakups.)</p>\n\n<p>Even amidst the chaos, I was optimistic my then-wife and I could manage that idealized \u201clet\u2019s stay friends\u201d scenario and slowly work towards divorce in a reasonably amicable fashion\u2014<em>for the sake of the children</em> of course. That\u2019s what is expected of us, right? That\u2019s what we\u2019re supposed to strive for, right? For a time, it did work out like that. HOWEVER\u2026</p>\n\n<p>2020 reared its ugly head, and even prior to the pandemic kicking into high gear, a series of events were foisted upon me which were utterly devastating. I\u2019m not at liberty to go into the details right now. But suffice it to say, whatever you might imagine concerning how ugly and gut-wrenching and debilitating divorce can be\u2014well, that\u2019s essentially what happened. I wouldn\u2019t wish it on my worst enemy.</p>\n\n<p>Yet, some good (all things considered) news as I write this. <strong>My divorce is finalized. It is done.</strong> I am, once again, single. Not as it was before to be sure\u2014I\u2019ll never stop being a loving dad to two <em>amazing</em> children who are my pride and joy.</p>\n\n<p>Nevertheless, it\u2019s a simultaneously familiar yet alien feeling. I had entered into the marriage covenant with the most earnest of intentions. <strong>Get married and stay married, at all costs.</strong> The idea of divorce was anathema. It was, quite literally, against my religion. So you begin to understand why everything which has occurred in my personal life over the past two years has been quite the mental jolt.</p>\n\n<h3>So, Now What?</h3>\n\n<p>The question before me now is: what does one <em>do</em> when one is divorced and single again? More to the point, what does one do when one finds themselves in that strange in-between limbo of \u201cToo Old to Rock \u2018n\u2019 Roll: Too Young to Die\u201d \u2026? Everything I\u2019ve heard about the dating scene these days indicates it\u2019s absolutely bonkers, so you can imagine my reluctance to jump headfirst into those shark-infested waters. To a certain extent, I\u2019m genuinely enjoying my singleness now\u2014in a way I never did before I fell in love and got married. It\u2019s an opportunity some souls spend years pining for: the chance to \u201cdo it right this time.\u201d</p>\n\n<p>And yet\u2026the thought of being \u201calone\u201d (time spent with kids aside) and that possibility stretching far into the distance is certainly frightening. I\u2019m not sure what bothers me more: the literal aloneness of it all, or the notion that I\u2019ll degenerate into a total loser: a grumpy old man who lives alone because he\u2019s too grumpy and, well, too old. I\u2019ve spent too much of my life feeling like a weirdo, an outsider\u2014and in our modern culture you\u2019re considered a bit of a weirdo if you\u2019re single, especially as the years roll by. People are <em>supposed</em> to be coupled. And if you are not, surely there must be something wrong with you.</p>\n\n<p>Clearly I need to get <strong>that</strong> narrative out of my head. If I\u2019m ever to fall in love again and enjoy a serious romantic relationship, it can\u2019t come from a place of desperation and lack. In a truly healthy relationship, a more-or-less healthy person comes alongside another more-or-less healthy person, and they forge a bond which encourages an even healthier and mutually beneficial way of life. It\u2019s foolhardy to attempt a recreation of the typical romantic comedy plot. That might make for entertaining TV, but it\u2019s a terrible way to live.</p>\n\n<p>All that to say, I <em>want</em> to remain open to the possibility of leaving singleness behind once again and drinking from the fountain of enduring love. But for now, I\u2019ve embraced the solo lifestyle. (In a very real sense, I\u2019ve had to.)</p>\n\n<p>Thus concludes my little update on what\u2019s been going on behind the scenes. As far as what comes next\u2014well, if there were ever the perfect moment to trot out the following phrase to wrap up an essay, is it now:</p>\n\n<p><strong>To Be Continued\u2026</strong></p>\n\n<p><br /></p>\n\n<p><em>Photo credit: <a href=\"https://unsplash.com/photos/H1coe5Fpe1M\">Zach Lezniewicz on Unsplash</a></em></p>\n\n\n\n  <br /><p>\n    \n      <a href=\"https://jaredwhite.com/tag/marriage\">#marriage</a>\n    \n      <a href=\"https://jaredwhite.com/tag/divorce\">#divorce</a>\n    \n      <a href=\"https://jaredwhite.com/tag/family\">#family</a>\n    \n  </p>",
        "text": "I wasn\u2019t given a blueprint for this. I never expected to be Married-No-Longer. But now, after my divorce, I have to decide what comes next.\n\n\u201cI climb to greet the war in which I have no heart but only\nThat one dark I owe my light,\nCall for confessor and wiser mirror but there is none\nTo glow after the god stoning night\nAnd I am struck as lonely as a holy marker by the sun\u201d\n\nDylan Thomas\n\n\n\nWow. Has it really been two years and change since I wrote that my life had been turned upside down? I confessed I had opened up a new \u201cprivate office and art studio\u201d near downtown Portland, and it actually sounded like a upbeat and glamorous development. In some ways, sure, it was\u2026yet if I also seemed cagey, it was due to the fact I couldn\u2019t let the real cat out of the bag.\n\nMy wife of nearly ten years and I had separated. Ouch. My new studio in Portland was\u2026my new home as well. It was a radical shift in my lifestyle, one I hadn\u2019t expected until right up to the point of it happening. (That, I suppose, is the nature of breakups.)\n\nEven amidst the chaos, I was optimistic my then-wife and I could manage that idealized \u201clet\u2019s stay friends\u201d scenario and slowly work towards divorce in a reasonably amicable fashion\u2014for the sake of the children of course. That\u2019s what is expected of us, right? That\u2019s what we\u2019re supposed to strive for, right? For a time, it did work out like that. HOWEVER\u2026\n\n2020 reared its ugly head, and even prior to the pandemic kicking into high gear, a series of events were foisted upon me which were utterly devastating. I\u2019m not at liberty to go into the details right now. But suffice it to say, whatever you might imagine concerning how ugly and gut-wrenching and debilitating divorce can be\u2014well, that\u2019s essentially what happened. I wouldn\u2019t wish it on my worst enemy.\n\nYet, some good (all things considered) news as I write this. My divorce is finalized. It is done. I am, once again, single. Not as it was before to be sure\u2014I\u2019ll never stop being a loving dad to two amazing children who are my pride and joy.\n\nNevertheless, it\u2019s a simultaneously familiar yet alien feeling. I had entered into the marriage covenant with the most earnest of intentions. Get married and stay married, at all costs. The idea of divorce was anathema. It was, quite literally, against my religion. So you begin to understand why everything which has occurred in my personal life over the past two years has been quite the mental jolt.\n\nSo, Now What?\n\nThe question before me now is: what does one do when one is divorced and single again? More to the point, what does one do when one finds themselves in that strange in-between limbo of \u201cToo Old to Rock \u2018n\u2019 Roll: Too Young to Die\u201d \u2026? Everything I\u2019ve heard about the dating scene these days indicates it\u2019s absolutely bonkers, so you can imagine my reluctance to jump headfirst into those shark-infested waters. To a certain extent, I\u2019m genuinely enjoying my singleness now\u2014in a way I never did before I fell in love and got married. It\u2019s an opportunity some souls spend years pining for: the chance to \u201cdo it right this time.\u201d\n\nAnd yet\u2026the thought of being \u201calone\u201d (time spent with kids aside) and that possibility stretching far into the distance is certainly frightening. I\u2019m not sure what bothers me more: the literal aloneness of it all, or the notion that I\u2019ll degenerate into a total loser: a grumpy old man who lives alone because he\u2019s too grumpy and, well, too old. I\u2019ve spent too much of my life feeling like a weirdo, an outsider\u2014and in our modern culture you\u2019re considered a bit of a weirdo if you\u2019re single, especially as the years roll by. People are supposed to be coupled. And if you are not, surely there must be something wrong with you.\n\nClearly I need to get that narrative out of my head. If I\u2019m ever to fall in love again and enjoy a serious romantic relationship, it can\u2019t come from a place of desperation and lack. In a truly healthy relationship, a more-or-less healthy person comes alongside another more-or-less healthy person, and they forge a bond which encourages an even healthier and mutually beneficial way of life. It\u2019s foolhardy to attempt a recreation of the typical romantic comedy plot. That might make for entertaining TV, but it\u2019s a terrible way to live.\n\nAll that to say, I want to remain open to the possibility of leaving singleness behind once again and drinking from the fountain of enduring love. But for now, I\u2019ve embraced the solo lifestyle. (In a very real sense, I\u2019ve had to.)\n\nThus concludes my little update on what\u2019s been going on behind the scenes. As far as what comes next\u2014well, if there were ever the perfect moment to trot out the following phrase to wrap up an essay, is it now:\n\nTo Be Continued\u2026\n\n\n\n\nPhoto credit: Zach Lezniewicz on Unsplash\n\n\n\n  \n\n    \n      #marriage\n    \n      #divorce\n    \n      #family"
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        "text": "you know what's *not* down right now? \n\nmy blog \u2b07\n\naaronparecki.com",
        "html": "you know what's *not* down right now? \n\nmy blog \u2b07\n\n<a href=\"https://aaronparecki.com/\">aaronparecki.com</a>"
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        "text": "For one, shining moment, the world was free.\n\n#FacebookSucks",
        "html": "For one, shining moment, the world was free.\n\n<a href=\"https://twitter.com/search?q=%23FacebookSucks\">#FacebookSucks</a>"
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        "text": "Great talk with @guypod and @djschleen: ~\u201dDevelopers are technical artists who love creating things. Security should be an ingredient of the paint. They can paint whatever picture they want and resilience is built in.\u201d podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/run\u2026",
        "html": "Great talk with <a href=\"https://twitter.com/guypod\">@guypod</a> and <a href=\"https://twitter.com/djschleen\">@djschleen</a>: ~\u201dDevelopers are technical artists who love creating things. Security should be an ingredient of the paint. They can paint whatever picture they want and resilience is built in.\u201d <a href=\"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/running-and-expanding-a-devops-team-with-dj-schleen/id1156317989?i=1000537493831\">podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/run\u2026</a>"
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        "text": "It is done. I am divorced. A reflection on what I've been through, what that means now, and what comes next. jaredwhite.com/articles/hello\u2026",
        "html": "It is done. I am divorced. A reflection on what I've been through, what that means now, and what comes next. <a href=\"https://jaredwhite.com/articles/hello-singleness-my-old-friend\">jaredwhite.com/articles/hello\u2026</a>"
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    "content": {
        "text": "Why is the theme to Bewitched earworming me?"
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        "text": "\"A spokesperson for Citizen told Motherboard that the company does not support the unionization effort\""
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                "text": "New: workers from crime-watch/social network app Citizen are unionizing. Source familiar with the unionization effort says it gained momentum after the Palisades incident, in which Citizen CEO Andrew Frame put a $30,000 bounty on innocent person's head vice.com/en/article/4av\u2026",
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        "text": "White people will destroy everything else to keep whiteness"
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                "text": "In undergrad I had an internship at a food bank that served rural communities in Texas, and it gave me this really startling direct insight on conservative economic thinking. /1"
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        "text": "Back to working on possible discussion questions PIs can ask when reviewing all the Assessment Objectives of the #CMMC practices.\n\nI try hard to be company agnostic and use stuff like bigco and acme, but other times it gets difficult.\n\nLike the data sover\u2026lnkd.in/exG7VWc2",
        "html": "Back to working on possible discussion questions PIs can ask when reviewing all the Assessment Objectives of the <a href=\"https://twitter.com/search?q=%23CMMC\">#CMMC</a> practices.\n\nI try hard to be company agnostic and use stuff like bigco and acme, but other times it gets difficult.\n\nLike the data sover\u2026<a href=\"https://lnkd.in/exG7VWc2\">lnkd.in/exG7VWc2</a>"
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        "text": "The magic of editing, people !! \ud83e\udd2f\ntwitter.com/francissiberin\u2026",
        "html": "The magic of editing, people !! \ud83e\udd2f\n<a href=\"https://twitter.com/francissiberini/status/1444721232662958080\">twitter.com/francissiberin\u2026</a>"
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                "text": "Had a really dumb idea to turn Ted Lasso into a horror.. and well this is what I came up with..! #NateTheGreat #TedLasso #Nate",
                "html": "Had a really dumb idea to turn Ted Lasso into a horror.. and well this is what I came up with..! <a href=\"https://twitter.com/search?q=%23NateTheGreat\">#NateTheGreat</a> <a href=\"https://twitter.com/search?q=%23TedLasso\">#TedLasso</a> <a href=\"https://twitter.com/search?q=%23Nate\">#Nate</a>"
            },
            "author": {
                "type": "card",
                "name": "Francis Siberini",
                "url": "https://twitter.com/FrancisSiberini",
                "photo": "https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1413863000155512838/Wt92U3gQ.jpg"
            },
            "post-type": "video"
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    "_id": "24017327",
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{
    "type": "entry",
    "published": "2021-10-04T06:13:14+00:00",
    "url": "https://twitter.com/fluffy/status/1444908450274709505",
    "content": {
        "text": "So you know how sometimes people post a thing on Twitter as an on-the-down-low thing to verify they have material knowledge of a fact, by posting the md5sum or SHA hash of the plaintext, before doing a reveal later?\n\nThat is way better proof of ownership than an NFT."
    },
    "author": {
        "type": "card",
        "name": "fluffy \ud83d\udc9c \u272a\u25be\u032b\u272a",
        "url": "https://twitter.com/fluffy",
        "photo": "https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1252480375646851072/Pc5osn74.jpg"
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    "post-type": "note",
    "_id": "24016949",
    "_source": "2773"
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{
    "type": "entry",
    "published": "2021-10-04T01:05:04+00:00",
    "url": "https://twitter.com/Johannes_Ernst/status/1444830898642247684",
    "quotation-of": "https://twitter.com/60Minutes/status/1444810664502079491",
    "content": {
        "text": "Who could have known? :-P\ntwitter.com/60minutes/stat\u2026",
        "html": "Who could have known? :-P\n<a href=\"https://twitter.com/60minutes/status/1444810664502079491\">twitter.com/60minutes/stat\u2026</a>"
    },
    "author": {
        "type": "card",
        "name": "Johannes Ernst",
        "url": "https://twitter.com/Johannes_Ernst",
        "photo": "https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/462335209015238656/ie0cRjdx.jpeg"
    },
    "post-type": "note",
    "refs": {
        "https://twitter.com/60Minutes/status/1444810664502079491": {
            "type": "entry",
            "published": "2021-10-03T23:44:40+00:00",
            "url": "https://twitter.com/60Minutes/status/1444810664502079491",
            "video": [
                "https://video.twimg.com/amplify_video/1444810586102108171/vid/1280x720/wGK4XeWIQiy2XeY-.mp4?tag=14"
            ],
            "content": {
                "text": "\u201cFacebook has realized that if they change the algorithm to be safer, people will spend less time on the site, they'll click on less ads, they'll make less money,\u201d says Facebook whistleblower Frances Haugen. cbsn.ws/3ouorZb",
                "html": "\u201cFacebook has realized that if they change the algorithm to be safer, people will spend less time on the site, they'll click on less ads, they'll make less money,\u201d says Facebook whistleblower Frances Haugen. <a href=\"https://cbsn.ws/3ouorZb\">cbsn.ws/3ouorZb</a>"
            },
            "author": {
                "type": "card",
                "name": "60 Minutes",
                "url": "https://twitter.com/60Minutes",
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{
    "type": "entry",
    "published": "2021-10-04T01:04:01+00:00",
    "url": "https://twitter.com/Johannes_Ernst/status/1444830633230958599",
    "quotation-of": "https://twitter.com/AlexandraErin/status/1444761883123322881",
    "content": {
        "text": "Good thread, whether you agree or disagree.\ntwitter.com/alexandraerin/\u2026",
        "html": "Good thread, whether you agree or disagree.\n<a href=\"https://twitter.com/alexandraerin/status/1444761883123322881\">twitter.com/alexandraerin/\u2026</a>"
    },
    "author": {
        "type": "card",
        "name": "Johannes Ernst",
        "url": "https://twitter.com/Johannes_Ernst",
        "photo": "https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/462335209015238656/ie0cRjdx.jpeg"
    },
    "post-type": "note",
    "refs": {
        "https://twitter.com/AlexandraErin/status/1444761883123322881": {
            "type": "entry",
            "published": "2021-10-03T20:30:49+00:00",
            "url": "https://twitter.com/AlexandraErin/status/1444761883123322881",
            "content": {
                "text": "The whole cringey \"Metaverse\"/Ready Player Web3 thing... I was born in 1980 so it is, glancingly, a big part of the future my generation was promised, though the version sold to us would have been owned by mega-corps.\n\nSo why am I not excited about how decentralized crypto is?"
            },
            "author": {
                "type": "card",
                "name": "Alexandra S. Pumpkins-Erin",
                "url": "https://twitter.com/AlexandraErin",
                "photo": "https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1312106752868003840/QCqpmlJi.jpg"
            },
            "post-type": "note"
        }
    },
    "_id": "24013308",
    "_source": "2773"
}

{
    "type": "entry",
    "published": "2021-10-03T17:36:54-0400",
    "summary": "\ud83d\udccd Checked in at Bar Verde, New York, NY.",
    "url": "https://martymcgui.re/2021/10/03/173654/",
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        "https://res.cloudinary.com/schmarty/image/fetch/w_480,c_fill/https://fastly.4sqi.net/img/general/original/62057_QRd_BFqGFmcvYE0MxE2a1omYxXe8UrD8v4rOXjE5OZY.jpg",
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        "https://res.cloudinary.com/schmarty/image/fetch/w_480,c_fill/https://fastly.4sqi.net/img/general/original/62057_C976SC8VrzpMQRrSPTR0dKv2ZPM1wF1sChF3nfwjRa8.jpg"
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        "name": "Marty McGuire",
        "url": "https://martymcgui.re/",
        "photo": "https://martymcgui.re/images/logo.jpg"
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    "checkin": {
        "type": "card",
        "name": "Bar Verde",
        "locality": "New York",
        "region": "NY",
        "url": "https://foursquare.com/v/59fa5dda82a7507f228bc618"
    },
    "post-type": "checkin",
    "_id": "24012164",
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{
    "type": "entry",
    "published": "2021-10-03T23:17:46+00:00",
    "url": "https://twitter.com/anomalily/status/1444803895583076357",
    "content": {
        "text": "Going live in 40 minutes to talk BUDGETING APPS - we looked at over 30 apps this summer!  And now we're going to give them medals in vague categories\n\nyoutube.com/watch?v=emHzK7\u2026",
        "html": "Going live in 40 minutes to talk BUDGETING APPS - we looked at over 30 apps this summer!  And now we're going to give them medals in vague categories\n\n<a href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emHzK7LYyM4\">youtube.com/watch?v=emHzK7\u2026</a>"
    },
    "author": {
        "type": "card",
        "name": "Lillian Karabaic",
        "url": "https://twitter.com/anomalily",
        "photo": "https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1442157378439319559/OxD_3fhY.jpg"
    },
    "post-type": "note",
    "_id": "24012075",
    "_source": "2773"
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{
    "type": "entry",
    "published": "2021-10-03T16:04:59-0400",
    "summary": "\ud83d\udccd Checked in at NYC Ferry - DUMBO Landing, Brooklyn, NY.",
    "url": "https://martymcgui.re/2021/10/03/160459/",
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        "https://res.cloudinary.com/schmarty/image/fetch/w_480,c_fill/https://fastly.4sqi.net/img/general/original/62057_ex0PbJsQMHdqISS4N6tAN-S-RWnbPXIpGi20e52XF5A.jpg",
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        "https://res.cloudinary.com/schmarty/image/fetch/w_480,c_fill/https://fastly.4sqi.net/img/general/original/62057_f12tDTsUZ4hmId-Kh166BbJdvS8Og3x2__KOwqx679M.jpg"
    ],
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        "type": "card",
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    "post-type": "checkin",
    "_id": "24010411",
    "_source": "175"
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{
    "type": "entry",
    "published": "2021-10-03T15:35:00-0400",
    "summary": "\ud83d\udccd Checked in at Squibb Park Bridge, Brooklyn, NY.",
    "url": "https://martymcgui.re/2021/10/03/153500/",
    "photo": [
        "https://res.cloudinary.com/schmarty/image/fetch/w_480,c_fill/https://fastly.4sqi.net/img/general/original/62057_PenVMIfXqQDXc1YbRRUAFIjDS0Sjx8VSY1pgbvBWmrY.jpg",
        "https://res.cloudinary.com/schmarty/image/fetch/w_480,c_fill/https://fastly.4sqi.net/img/general/original/62057_K4uCz9vxmVSBEq6qmUdJMXCSyJKKNj88WGWcyah3Nck.jpg",
        "https://res.cloudinary.com/schmarty/image/fetch/w_480,c_fill/https://fastly.4sqi.net/img/general/original/62057_yoj2mtwp2_KUzE0PokQI3dxANE6mxaYqVnQORJaYnu8.jpg",
        "https://res.cloudinary.com/schmarty/image/fetch/w_480,c_fill/https://fastly.4sqi.net/img/general/original/62057_QHtKWziP-AOzUhgURVe01xbZ_DFfp7wMRvOm_2lel_s.jpg"
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        "name": "Marty McGuire",
        "url": "https://martymcgui.re/",
        "photo": "https://martymcgui.re/images/logo.jpg"
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    "checkin": {
        "type": "card",
        "name": "Squibb Park Bridge",
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