One of the good surprises so far in this shitshow of a year has been my realization that—somehow—I seem to have made peace with all of my past selves.
For Reasons™, I’ve been going through a lot of old memorabilia tucked away in closets and drawers, and unlike in times before when I’ve done so and felt feelings of anger, loss, or frustration, this time around I feel a tangible sense of acceptance. There’s enough distance between me and the hurts of the past, and enough groundedness in who I am today…the complex product of all that I’ve done and all that my predecessors did before me…that I’m able to take everything I continue to love and appreciate from my copious life experiences and treasure those still, while leaving the dumb stuff behind where it belongs.
It has taken a ton of work for me to get to this point. My #spirituality has changed and evolved, I’ve studied meditation and #mindfulness, I’ve talked deeply with therapists and with close friends, and the journey isn’t yet over of course. But I feel like, in a veracious way that is almost physical in nature, a significant chapter of my life has concluded and a brand new chapter is about to begin. And while that can be scary in a myriad of ways, I am embracing it wholeheartedly. Let the festivities begin!
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"html": "<p>One of the good surprises so far in this shitshow of a year has been my realization that\u2014somehow\u2014I seem to have made peace with all of my past selves.</p>\n\n<p>For Reasons\u2122, I\u2019ve been going through a lot of old memorabilia tucked away in closets and drawers, and unlike in times before when I\u2019ve done so and felt feelings of anger, loss, or frustration, this time around I feel a tangible sense of acceptance. There\u2019s enough distance between me and the hurts of the past, and enough groundedness in who I am today\u2026the complex product of all that I\u2019ve done and all that my predecessors did before me\u2026that I\u2019m able to take everything I continue to love and appreciate from my copious life experiences and treasure those still, while leaving the dumb stuff behind where it belongs.</p>\n\n<p>It has taken <strong>a ton of work</strong> for me to get to this point. My <a href=\"https://jaredwhite.com/tag/spirituality\">#spirituality</a> has changed and evolved, I\u2019ve studied meditation and <a href=\"https://jaredwhite.com/tag/mindfulness\">#mindfulness</a>, I\u2019ve talked deeply with therapists and with close friends, and the journey isn\u2019t yet over of course. But I feel like, in a veracious way that is almost physical in nature, a significant chapter of my life has concluded and a brand new chapter is about to begin. And while that can be scary in a myriad of ways, <strong>I am embracing it wholeheartedly</strong>. <em>Let the festivities begin!</em></p>",
"text": "One of the good surprises so far in this shitshow of a year has been my realization that\u2014somehow\u2014I seem to have made peace with all of my past selves.\n\nFor Reasons\u2122, I\u2019ve been going through a lot of old memorabilia tucked away in closets and drawers, and unlike in times before when I\u2019ve done so and felt feelings of anger, loss, or frustration, this time around I feel a tangible sense of acceptance. There\u2019s enough distance between me and the hurts of the past, and enough groundedness in who I am today\u2026the complex product of all that I\u2019ve done and all that my predecessors did before me\u2026that I\u2019m able to take everything I continue to love and appreciate from my copious life experiences and treasure those still, while leaving the dumb stuff behind where it belongs.\n\nIt has taken a ton of work for me to get to this point. My #spirituality has changed and evolved, I\u2019ve studied meditation and #mindfulness, I\u2019ve talked deeply with therapists and with close friends, and the journey isn\u2019t yet over of course. But I feel like, in a veracious way that is almost physical in nature, a significant chapter of my life has concluded and a brand new chapter is about to begin. And while that can be scary in a myriad of ways, I am embracing it wholeheartedly. Let the festivities begin!"
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"url": "https://jaredwhite.com/links/20250201/maga-fucking-idiots",
"published": "2025-02-01T20:04:56-08:00",
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"html": "<blockquote>\n <h2><a href=\"https://www.reuters.com/world/americas/canadas-trudeau-announces-counter-tariffs-2025-02-02/\"></a></h2>\n\n <p>As relations between the long-time allies who share the world\u2019s longest land border reach a new low, Trudeau told a news conference he was slapping tariffs on C$155 billion ($107 billion) of U.S. goods. Those on C$30 billion will take effect on Tuesday, the same day as Trump\u2019s tariffs, and duties on the remaining C$125 billion in 21 days, he said.</p>\n\n<p>Trudeau\u2019s announcement came just hours after Trump ordered 25% tariffs on Canadian and Mexican imports and 10% on goods from China, risking a trade war that economists say could slow global growth and reignite inflation.</p>\n\n</blockquote>\n\n<p>This is all so goddamn fucking stupid I can\u2019t believe it. MAGA\u2019s one claim to fame, besides hating trans people and brown people I guess, was that \u201cJoe Biden\u2019s economy\u201d was in the shitter and the average hardworking American couldn\u2019t afford to buy a dozen eggs or fill up their monster truck\u2019s gas tank because everything was oh so expensive. <em>Inflation inflation inflation.</em></p>\n\n<p>And despite anyone with half a brain understanding that Trump\u2019s genius plan to implement tariffs would make the situation get <em>worse</em> not better, MAGA managed to spew enough bullshit to convince voters it was all going to be just fine that\u2026well, here we are.</p>\n\n<p>It\u2019s all so fucking stupid. The world is watching the United States of America get pillaged & plundered by goddamn fucking delusional idiots. I guess I\u2019ll just get used to eating ramen and a couple slices of cucumber like a student, and good luck driving anywhere with soaring prices for fuel. <strong>Yeehaw!</strong> \ud83e\udd20</p>",
"text": "As relations between the long-time allies who share the world\u2019s longest land border reach a new low, Trudeau told a news conference he was slapping tariffs on C$155 billion ($107 billion) of U.S. goods. Those on C$30 billion will take effect on Tuesday, the same day as Trump\u2019s tariffs, and duties on the remaining C$125 billion in 21 days, he said.\n\nTrudeau\u2019s announcement came just hours after Trump ordered 25% tariffs on Canadian and Mexican imports and 10% on goods from China, risking a trade war that economists say could slow global growth and reignite inflation.\n\n\n\nThis is all so goddamn fucking stupid I can\u2019t believe it. MAGA\u2019s one claim to fame, besides hating trans people and brown people I guess, was that \u201cJoe Biden\u2019s economy\u201d was in the shitter and the average hardworking American couldn\u2019t afford to buy a dozen eggs or fill up their monster truck\u2019s gas tank because everything was oh so expensive. Inflation inflation inflation.\n\nAnd despite anyone with half a brain understanding that Trump\u2019s genius plan to implement tariffs would make the situation get worse not better, MAGA managed to spew enough bullshit to convince voters it was all going to be just fine that\u2026well, here we are.\n\nIt\u2019s all so fucking stupid. The world is watching the United States of America get pillaged & plundered by goddamn fucking delusional idiots. I guess I\u2019ll just get used to eating ramen and a couple slices of cucumber like a student, and good luck driving anywhere with soaring prices for fuel. Yeehaw! \ud83e\udd20"
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I am still getting monthly emails saying I have a $0 balance from the tenant portal of the apartment we moved out of 18 months ago. Today I logged in to see if I can delete my account, but instead I see new maintenance requests from the last few months 😮
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"text": "I am still getting monthly emails saying I have a $0 balance from the tenant portal of the apartment we moved out of 18 months ago. Today I logged in to see if I can delete my account, but instead I see new maintenance requests from the last few months \ud83d\ude2e",
"html": "I am still getting monthly emails saying I have a $0 balance from the tenant portal of the apartment we moved out of 18 months ago. Today I logged in to see if I can delete my account, but instead I see new maintenance requests from the last few months <a href=\"https://aaronparecki.com/emoji/%F0%9F%98%AE\">\ud83d\ude2e</a>"
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"text": "That was more excitement than I signed up for with this visit to the vet today"
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"url": "https://herestomwiththeweather.com/2025/01/30/win-stupid-prizes/",
"published": "2025-01-30T14:44:05+00:00",
"content": {
"html": "<p><a href=\"https://www.democracynow.org/2025/1/30/potomac_crash\">Deadly D.C. Plane Crash Comes Months After Congress Ignored Warning About Traffic at Reagan Airport</a></p>\n\n<p>As the new administration is playing stupid games, yesterday morning, prior to yesterday\u2019s <a href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2025_Potomac_River_mid-air_collision\">aviation disaster</a>, professor <a href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Schaller\">Thomas Schaller</a> cautioned:\n<a href=\"https://x.com/schaller67/status/1884588931129184468\"><img src=\"https://coffeebucks.s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/blame_it_on_dei.png\" alt=\"Accurate\" /></a></p>\n\n<blockquote>\n <p>An FAA employee I know confirms agency already lacks sufficient air traffic controllers. The so-called \u201cbuyouts\u201d and other attacks on federal employees won\u2019t help. Remember that fact when the flight delays (crashes?) commence and Trumpers start falsely blaming DEI or Biden.</p>\n</blockquote>\n\n<p>This should be a wakeup call and I have a deeper appreciation for people like <a href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phyllis_Fong\">Phyllis Fong</a> who this week have resisted the illegal orders that are already causing significant harm. On the other hand, if you like anarchy and disaster, congratulations.</p>",
"text": "Deadly D.C. Plane Crash Comes Months After Congress Ignored Warning About Traffic at Reagan Airport\n\nAs the new administration is playing stupid games, yesterday morning, prior to yesterday\u2019s aviation disaster, professor Thomas Schaller cautioned:\n\n\n\n An FAA employee I know confirms agency already lacks sufficient air traffic controllers. The so-called \u201cbuyouts\u201d and other attacks on federal employees won\u2019t help. Remember that fact when the flight delays (crashes?) commence and Trumpers start falsely blaming DEI or Biden.\n\n\nThis should be a wakeup call and I have a deeper appreciation for people like Phyllis Fong who this week have resisted the illegal orders that are already causing significant harm. On the other hand, if you like anarchy and disaster, congratulations."
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I’ve been going through my mother’s ancient stash of papers I had buried in my closet and, well, I found some pretty interesting reading. 😉
Here’s what Deborah had to say about Baby Jared (that’s me!) on April 20, 1983 when I was only a few months old:
“I am amazed at how much Choo Choo (Jared Christopher) has learned so far and how quickly he has progressed. His grandmother Carlita said: ‘Write it all down before you forget.’ So I am.
From birth on - The first thing I heard, from Bear [this was her nickname for my dad Chris], was ‘Deb it’s a boy!’ I then repeated, over and over: ‘I can’t believe it! I can’t believe it!’ But I did believe it. I knew he was a boy - my heart’s desire.
The nurses were amazed at several things. He craned his neck and held his head up when he was two days old! They were hard pressed to believe it. One nurse, Sheila, fell in love with him. Another nurse told me that Jared was Sheila’s favorite baby. Sheila came in one night and said: ‘I think he’s a genius or something. He’s so sensitive and alert - not like the other babies. When they cry he looks all around.’ Alertness has been a key word. People consistency mention how alert he is.”
Mommy, as I called her, passed away from cancer in 2006. Thus I cherish hearing her say these words out loud in my mind as I read them. And of course, I also appreciate being called a genius…
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"published": "2025-01-29T22:06:24-08:00",
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"html": "<p>I\u2019ve been going through my mother\u2019s ancient stash of papers I had buried in my closet and, well, I found some pretty interesting reading. \ud83d\ude09</p>\n\n<p>Here\u2019s what Deborah had to say about <strong>Baby Jared</strong> (that\u2019s me!) on <strong>April 20, 1983</strong> when I was only a few months old:</p>\n\n<p><strong>\u201c</strong>I am amazed at how much Choo Choo (Jared Christopher) has learned so far and how quickly he has progressed. His grandmother Carlita said: \u2018Write it all down before you forget.\u2019 So I am.</p>\n\n<p>From birth on -<br />The first thing I heard, from Bear [this was her nickname for my dad Chris], was \u2018Deb it\u2019s a boy!\u2019 I then repeated, over and over: \u2018I can\u2019t believe it! I can\u2019t believe it!\u2019 But I <strong>did</strong> believe it. I knew he was a boy - my heart\u2019s desire.</p>\n\n<p>The nurses were amazed at several things. He craned his neck and held his head up when he was two days old! They were hard pressed to believe it. One nurse, Sheila, fell in love with him. Another nurse told me that Jared was Sheila\u2019s favorite baby. Sheila came in one night and said: \u2018I think he\u2019s a genius or something. He\u2019s so sensitive and alert - not like the other babies. When they cry he looks all around.\u2019 Alertness has been a key word. People consistency mention how alert he is.<strong>\u201d</strong></p>\n\n<p>Mommy, as I called her, <strong>passed away from cancer</strong> in 2006. Thus I cherish hearing her say these words out loud in my mind as I read them. And of course, I also appreciate being called a genius\u2026</p>\n\n<p><img src=\"https://jaredwhite.com/20250129/baby-jared.jpg\" alt=\"a portrait of the blogger as a young baby\" /></p>\n\n<p><em>(I was a happy baby!)</em> <a href=\"https://jaredwhite.com/tag/family\">#family</a></p>",
"text": "I\u2019ve been going through my mother\u2019s ancient stash of papers I had buried in my closet and, well, I found some pretty interesting reading. \ud83d\ude09\n\nHere\u2019s what Deborah had to say about Baby Jared (that\u2019s me!) on April 20, 1983 when I was only a few months old:\n\n\u201cI am amazed at how much Choo Choo (Jared Christopher) has learned so far and how quickly he has progressed. His grandmother Carlita said: \u2018Write it all down before you forget.\u2019 So I am.\n\nFrom birth on -\nThe first thing I heard, from Bear [this was her nickname for my dad Chris], was \u2018Deb it\u2019s a boy!\u2019 I then repeated, over and over: \u2018I can\u2019t believe it! I can\u2019t believe it!\u2019 But I did believe it. I knew he was a boy - my heart\u2019s desire.\n\nThe nurses were amazed at several things. He craned his neck and held his head up when he was two days old! They were hard pressed to believe it. One nurse, Sheila, fell in love with him. Another nurse told me that Jared was Sheila\u2019s favorite baby. Sheila came in one night and said: \u2018I think he\u2019s a genius or something. He\u2019s so sensitive and alert - not like the other babies. When they cry he looks all around.\u2019 Alertness has been a key word. People consistency mention how alert he is.\u201d\n\nMommy, as I called her, passed away from cancer in 2006. Thus I cherish hearing her say these words out loud in my mind as I read them. And of course, I also appreciate being called a genius\u2026\n\n\n\n(I was a happy baby!) #family"
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Tonight was waffle night, where I make waffles for the next 6 weekends. I made 1.5x the previous batch because of our travel plans in March. I still think there's a way I can streamline this process further though.
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"text": "Tonight was waffle night, where I make waffles for the next 6 weekends. I made 1.5x the previous batch because of our travel plans in March. I still think there's a way I can streamline this process further though."
},
"author": {
"type": "card",
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"url": "https://jaredwhite.com/pictures/20250116/it-was-one-helluva-drone-show-here-on-new-year-s",
"published": "2025-01-16T00:41:37-08:00",
"content": {
"html": "<img alt=\"\" src=\"https://pxscdn.com/public/m/_v2/4580/634f2a4e4-291f24/oHxcq9APtiqn/nAObXUx4TbY3nJY9xynzzP6E6cqkYVtnFR5Ag0jq.jpg\" /><p>It was one helluva drone show here on New Year\u2019s. Go <a href=\"https://jaredwhite.com/tag/oregonexplored\">#OregonExplored</a>!</p>\n\n<p>Excited to see Pixelfed blow up in 2025 \ud83d\udc4f\ud83d\udc4f</p>",
"text": "It was one helluva drone show here on New Year\u2019s. Go #OregonExplored!\n\nExcited to see Pixelfed blow up in 2025 \ud83d\udc4f\ud83d\udc4f"
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Just #Portland having a vaporwave moment. You get that a lot at the Tilikum Crossing Bridge because yes, it really does light up in extraordinary colors. And when the moon is out… 🤩
{
"type": "entry",
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"url": "https://jaredwhite.com/pictures/20241218/just-portland-a-having-vaporwave-moment",
"published": "2024-12-18T07:32:58-08:00",
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"html": "<img alt=\"\" src=\"https://pxscdn.com/public/m/_v2/4580/9da63c77d-bc90ba/c4nO7YhstVi8/gnVesmLE9fjUL6U7Qjsuilkb7Hzgmdi5AJFoCz0G.jpg\" /><p>Just <a href=\"https://jaredwhite.com/tag/portland\">#Portland</a> having a vaporwave moment. You get that a lot at the Tilikum Crossing Bridge because yes, it really does light up in extraordinary colors. And when the moon is out\u2026 \ud83e\udd29</p>",
"text": "Just #Portland having a vaporwave moment. You get that a lot at the Tilikum Crossing Bridge because yes, it really does light up in extraordinary colors. And when the moon is out\u2026 \ud83e\udd29"
},
"post-type": "note",
"_id": "43722747",
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{
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"author": {
"name": "Cathie",
"url": "https://cathieleblanc.com/",
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"url": "https://cathieleblanc.com/2025/01/29/nebula-hunter-mid-sabbatical-report/",
"published": "2025-01-29T11:56:40-05:00",
"content": {
"html": "<p>I am about half-way through my sabbatical and I estimate that my sabbatical project is a bit more than half done. But, of course, the last 20% of any project like this is the hardest so maybe I\u2019m less than half done.</p>\n<p>I have learned a ton about using GML, GameMaker\u2019s built-in language to make games, even though I have been teaching students how to use GameMaker for more than a decade. I have really pushed myself to delve into some details of GML that I had never had to pay attention to before. I developed an inventory system that I am using to hold objects of various types: cameras, lenses, mounts, targets, enemies, and tools to fight the enemies. I thought I had the game mechanism all worked out but I read a fascinating book, called <a href=\"https://www.versobooks.com/products/3086-everything-to-play-for?srsltid=AfmBOopV9D1QWqt1aWbJhS-C1o4ARTQAcdtsWK5Cav-yQS_O4sZ5BWmP\"><em>Everything to Play For</em></a>, that made me rethink what I wanted the players to do in the game. The book is a kind of manifesto about what games can do to improve society. The author calls for games that can make positive progressive change in the world, despite the many negative aspects of the games industry. For example, she discusses the exploitive processes used to manufacture the hardware that games are played on and calls for game designers to figure out ways to destabilize the status quo of hardware manufacturing. I realized that a big part of my game was focused on capital\u2013material capital in the form of money and equipment and social capital in the form of the reputation and skills of the player as astrophotographer. In my original conception, players used virtual equipment (hardware) to capture images which increased their skill level. The higher their skill level, the better reputation they had and the more money they could sell their images for. They then used that money to get better virtual equipment and the cycle continued. After reading <em>Everything to Play For</em>, I decided I want the cost of the equipment to be demonstrated in more than just monetary value. I am working on ways to incorporate the other societal and environmental costs into the game. This is requiring some major rethinking.</p>\n<p>I am also working hard on improving my drawing skills because I am creating all of the assets used in the game rather than using pre-made images, sounds, music, etc.. For example, I drew three types of cameras that I\u2019m pretty happy with.</p>\n<p><img src=\"https://i0.wp.com/cathieleblanc.com/wp-content/uploads/20241121_1049237E24610965151888515804.jpg?resize=300%2C300&ssl=1\" alt=\"Phone camera\" /></p>\n<p><img src=\"https://i0.wp.com/cathieleblanc.com/wp-content/uploads/20241121_0941567E2344432691265939482.jpg?resize=300%2C300&ssl=1\" alt=\"DSLR\" /></p>\n<p><img src=\"https://i0.wp.com/cathieleblanc.com/wp-content/uploads/20241121_1047487E27276669398660911747.jpg?resize=300%2C300&ssl=1\" alt=\"Cooled astrocamera\" /></p>\n<p>I am also working on various types of characters. For example, here\u2019s one of my latest sketches.</p>\n<p><img src=\"https://i0.wp.com/cathieleblanc.com/wp-content/uploads/20250127_1632277E29028935136573761292.jpg?resize=300%2C300&ssl=1\" alt=\"A viking warrior character holding a large mallet\" /></p>\n<p>I am using my own astrophotographs for the targets in the game. For example, this is an early version of a card representing the Crescent Nebula as a target. I captured the image of the nebula myself. Since I captured this image, I have updated the target cards so that they contain more information on them. I wrote about the process I\u2019m using to create these cards in my <a href=\"https://cathieleblanc.com/2024/09/17/creating-assets-with-nandeck/\">previous post</a>.</p>\n<p><img src=\"https://i0.wp.com/cathieleblanc.com/wp-content/uploads/newsprites7E24437275179173473259.jpg?resize=300%2C300&ssl=1\" alt=\"Crescent Nebula card\" /></p>\n\n<p>I have a ton of sprites that I still need to create and add into the game. Currently, I am using placeholder images to represent most things.</p>\n<p>So I still have a ton of work to do on the game but it is very fun and hardly feels like work. I am lucky to have a job that provides me with an opportunity to take on a large project like this. I already have a lot to share with my students when I return to teaching in August. And I know I will have a lot more by then.</p>",
"text": "I am about half-way through my sabbatical and I estimate that my sabbatical project is a bit more than half done. But, of course, the last 20% of any project like this is the hardest so maybe I\u2019m less than half done.\nI have learned a ton about using GML, GameMaker\u2019s built-in language to make games, even though I have been teaching students how to use GameMaker for more than a decade. I have really pushed myself to delve into some details of GML that I had never had to pay attention to before. I developed an inventory system that I am using to hold objects of various types: cameras, lenses, mounts, targets, enemies, and tools to fight the enemies. I thought I had the game mechanism all worked out but I read a fascinating book, called Everything to Play For, that made me rethink what I wanted the players to do in the game. The book is a kind of manifesto about what games can do to improve society. The author calls for games that can make positive progressive change in the world, despite the many negative aspects of the games industry. For example, she discusses the exploitive processes used to manufacture the hardware that games are played on and calls for game designers to figure out ways to destabilize the status quo of hardware manufacturing. I realized that a big part of my game was focused on capital\u2013material capital in the form of money and equipment and social capital in the form of the reputation and skills of the player as astrophotographer. In my original conception, players used virtual equipment (hardware) to capture images which increased their skill level. The higher their skill level, the better reputation they had and the more money they could sell their images for. They then used that money to get better virtual equipment and the cycle continued. After reading Everything to Play For, I decided I want the cost of the equipment to be demonstrated in more than just monetary value. I am working on ways to incorporate the other societal and environmental costs into the game. This is requiring some major rethinking.\nI am also working hard on improving my drawing skills because I am creating all of the assets used in the game rather than using pre-made images, sounds, music, etc.. For example, I drew three types of cameras that I\u2019m pretty happy with.\n\n\n\nI am also working on various types of characters. For example, here\u2019s one of my latest sketches.\n\nI am using my own astrophotographs for the targets in the game. For example, this is an early version of a card representing the Crescent Nebula as a target. I captured the image of the nebula myself. Since I captured this image, I have updated the target cards so that they contain more information on them. I wrote about the process I\u2019m using to create these cards in my previous post.\n\n\nI have a ton of sprites that I still need to create and add into the game. Currently, I am using placeholder images to represent most things.\nSo I still have a ton of work to do on the game but it is very fun and hardly feels like work. I am lucky to have a job that provides me with an opportunity to take on a large project like this. I already have a lot to share with my students when I return to teaching in August. And I know I will have a lot more by then."
},
"name": "Nebula Hunter: Mid-Sabbatical Report",
"post-type": "article",
"_id": "43718955",
"_source": "2782"
}
