“We need things like RSS, the open web. We need websites back. That’s my dream is to bring back blogs.”
— Taylor Lorenz on We’re Not Kidding!
One of the good surprises so far in this shitshow of a year has been my realization that—somehow—I seem to have made peace with all of my past selves.
For Reasons™, I’ve been going through a lot of old memorabilia tucked away in closets and drawers, and unlike in times before when I’ve done so and felt feelings of anger, loss, or frustration, this time around I feel a tangible sense of acceptance. There’s enough distance between me and the hurts of the past, and enough groundedness in who I am today…the complex product of all that I’ve done and all that my predecessors did before me…that I’m able to take everything I continue to love and appreciate from my copious life experiences and treasure those still, while leaving the dumb stuff behind where it belongs.
It has taken a ton of work for me to get to this point. My #spirituality has changed and evolved, I’ve studied meditation and #mindfulness, I’ve talked deeply with therapists and with close friends, and the journey isn’t yet over of course. But I feel like, in a veracious way that is almost physical in nature, a significant chapter of my life has concluded and a brand new chapter is about to begin. And while that can be scary in a myriad of ways, I am embracing it wholeheartedly. Let the festivities begin!
I’ve been going through my mother’s ancient stash of papers I had buried in my closet and, well, I found some pretty interesting reading. 😉
Here’s what Deborah had to say about Baby Jared (that’s me!) on April 20, 1983 when I was only a few months old:
“I am amazed at how much Choo Choo (Jared Christopher) has learned so far and how quickly he has progressed. His grandmother Carlita said: ‘Write it all down before you forget.’ So I am.
From birth on -
The first thing I heard, from Bear [this was her nickname for my dad Chris], was ‘Deb it’s a boy!’ I then repeated, over and over: ‘I can’t believe it! I can’t believe it!’ But I did believe it. I knew he was a boy - my heart’s desire.
The nurses were amazed at several things. He craned his neck and held his head up when he was two days old! They were hard pressed to believe it. One nurse, Sheila, fell in love with him. Another nurse told me that Jared was Sheila’s favorite baby. Sheila came in one night and said: ‘I think he’s a genius or something. He’s so sensitive and alert - not like the other babies. When they cry he looks all around.’ Alertness has been a key word. People consistency mention how alert he is.”
Mommy, as I called her, passed away from cancer in 2006. Thus I cherish hearing her say these words out loud in my mind as I read them. And of course, I also appreciate being called a genius…
(I was a happy baby!) #family